As Good As

As Good As
Date	9/14/25
Storyteller	Tire
Tier	Expert
Player Characters	Arumi, Calamity Button, Samara,Peaches, Uravas - "Cap'n Stardust"
Rewards	900 gold, +1 Striking Repeating Heavy Crossbow, +1 Striking Returning Light Hammer, Adamantine Chunk, Swagger Stick, Climbing Kit (EXTREME), 250 XP
Result	success
Author	johnnysupernova
Downtime	15 days

In which our brave heroes finally give peace a chance, but will it extend them the same grace?

Log

An Excerpt from The Ballad of the Jongleur Three : A Factual and Historical Recounting of Cap’n Stardust’s Adventures as Penned by Sava Ru Book 2, Chapter 4

Dedicated to Sabelle, may we meet again, old friend

Dramatis Personae

Uravus - Cap’n Stardust - Honorable Pirate, Leader of the Jongleur Three

Arumi - Wizard without Peer, the strategist of the Jongleur Three

Gold Ship - Horse without Equal, the heart of the Jongleur Three

Calamity Button - Mostly made of magic

Peaches - A nagaji with a powerful stick and powerful magic

Samara - Alchemist with an incredible amount of acid

—

It was well into the autumn months of the year before we would next see Captain Stardust venture forth on another adventure. We hope you will not mistake the growing expanse between adventures for apathy. As Uravus’s mastery of the sword grew, his opportunities for applying his mastery shrunk. He had realized that the Round Table would not appreciate him applying his particular expertise on matters some would call trifling (though he, personally, would not, for his heart always felt the call of adventure, whatever form it might take).

And, we must confess, Uravus had begun to feel conflicted on his path. His greatest and oldest friend Sabelle, had been slain not more than three months prior. Was that his future? Was that the future of his sisters? He had begun to contend with the thought that his lot in life was to be slain… or slay. And such thoughts were not so easily cleaved in twain by a sword as the monsters he had so enjoyed fighting before.

As he examined the notice board, one of the postings jumped out to him. A jaunt to clear out a mine of cavern trolls, located in the mine that had served as the location of one of his first adventures. With a nostalgic smile, he signed up himself and his sister Arumi. His other sister, Ariyu, had presently been indisposed with another adventure, and Uravus, as powerful as he was, still feared her ire more than anything. And so, the Jongleur Three set out to the Hryngar Mines.

There were a few faces in the group that Uravus had not yet worked with before. Calamity Button, the halfling caster purported to have mastery over all of magic. The other was the Nagaji known as Peaches, a warrior who Uravus would quickly grow to respect.

While most mines dug down, (and Uravus had the good knowledge to know this excavation normally happened straight down vertically), Hryngar Mine was notable in that it appeared to have started deep below ground, and whomever may have started Hryngar Mine (perhaps, a fellow named Hryngar) had mined straight up.

The mine had recently been discovered, and with several associate trips, it had become a destination for those with the inclination towards mining. A previous expedition had the misfortune of running into several cavern trolls, and after meeting their match with a fearsome earth elemental, had retreated to report their findings for those who would come after.

And thus, the miners of Hryngar Mine had requested a new expedition of associates to clear out the next floor of the cavern trolls. Whereas some would see these cavern trolls as fearsome enemies, Captain Stardust saw an opportunity to broker peace. Thus, our conversation begins.

“I would like to ask them to leave.” Captain Stardust declared. “I grow weary of needless violence.”

“I think the last group tried asking, that’s why they sent us! The big guns!” Calamity Button stated, matter of factly. Though in fact, the previous group had not managed to speak to the trolls at all.

“I can speak Jotunn.” Arumi added, from atop her horse companion, Goldship.

“Ah, so you will translate then.” Uravus nodded.

“I can translate too!” Calamity said cheerfully.

“Oh? You can speak Jotunn?” Arumi asked.

“No, I speak magic!” Calamity continued.

“I have a lot of acid, it helps me translate, in a manner of speaking.” Samara stated. Uravus did not quite understand the meaning of these words, and chose not to inquire, for the work of an Alchemist was best left uninvestigated.

It had taken the group about a week to reach the mine. It looked quite different from when Captain Stardust and Arumi had last visited. For one, there were no monstrous frogs, nor spiders. For two, the miners had begun their hard work on clearing out the mine. They had passed the remains of a large crystalline creature and scenes of a mighty battle. Uravus did not reflect on what had happened here, and instead, the group reflected on what they knew of cavern trolls.

Captain Stardust was not even sure cavern trolls were real. In fact, whenever trolls showed up in the stories he read, he found them to be quite dull antagonists. ‘’Ah, a brute hiding under a bridge who delivers riddles? How pedestrian.’’ he would often think. Arumi, who knew much about everything, knew that the trolls were deceptively quick, and to cast spells or to perform finer interactions in their reach would prove to be dangerous. Calamity, likewise, knew the best magics to perform on these trolls were spells that targeted the mind.

With this knowledge informing them, the group did progress further into the mine. Curiously enough, the lower floor was lit by torches, but not ones from the miners. Who, then, was working these mines? As if to answer this unspoken question, a voice rang out from the mines, in a language Uravus could not understand, but fortunately, translations were provided for him.

“Mine faster! The emissaries below are expecting their tithes and we are way behind schedule!” the voice cried out.

“Middle Management,” Arumi began, with a weary sigh. “Some of the worst fiends you can find down here.”

Uravus drew his sword, and led the group. They found one of the cavern trolls, a large figure, adorned with crystals and rocks, toiling away in the cavern.

“We come in peace!” Uravus shouted, uselessly, for he could not speak their language.

“Surface dwellers!? Down here!?” The cavern troll shouted, with confusion, in his own tongue.

“Yes, we are.” Peaches, the Nagaji, said, in the same language as the Troll.

“Oh, you can speak our tongue. You surface folk usually run when you see us.” The Cavern Troll said, with keen interest in the group.

We must, again, request you indulge us in taking some liberties in transcribing the following exchanges. Normally when dealing with language barriers, a conversation can be much slower and unwieldy than normal parlance. There was more than one person in this band of adventurers providing translations. To save you time, and to save us the tedium, we will write these conversations as if everyone had spoken the same language, for to write out that one person spoke, and then another translated, and then the troll spoke, and then another translated, and so on and so on would be quite dry, and, as we have stated, tedious.

“We are quite different from other surface dwellers. I’m afraid we need to take possession of this mine, if you could please evacuate these premises.” Peaches said, bluntly, getting to the heart of the matter.

“You want us to leave? Well, we don’t like mining too much, if’n I’m being honest… I don’t want to say it too loudly.” The cavern troll said, in a whisper.

“Well then, it seems like a win win for both of us then.” Peaches said, with a nod.

“If you don’t want to mine… why be here then?” Arumi asked.

“We can’t go to the surface, we’ll die.” The Cavern Troll began, meekly. “We’ll be turned to stone in the light of day, you see. So we stay here, where we have to work.”

“Tell us more about who’s making you do this work.” inquired the one known as Peaches.

“Listen, there’s this mean old dwarf down here. They call him the king below, he runs all the cave networks down here, his empire made it all hundreds of years ago.” The Cavern Troll began. “Our leader, the King Above, he’s the strongest among us, and even he fears the King Below!”

“What if you banded together, and fought the King Below?”

“We tried before, we had a lot more trolls then… even for big strong trolls like us, we stood no chance…”

“There are many caverns underneath the city. Perhaps you could join them.” Arumi suggested.

The cavern troll thought for a moment. “We heard rumors about the underground opening up, and a big lava monster.”

Samara chimed in. “Oh, I do believe that’s been dealt with.”

The Cavern Troll went silent for a moment. “Well, if we left they’d hunt us down.”

Uravus shook his head. “Nonsense. We would protect you, my sister here, for example, has slain a dragon.”

The Cavern Troll was taken aback as he looked at Arumi. “You? A dragon? Really?”

Arumi, ever modest, shook her help. “I had help… and it wasn’t really a dragon…” she said, quietly, though this was, in fact, a lie, for it was a dragon.

Calamity, growing weary of these conversations, shouted out “Maybe we should just talk to your leader!”

The entirety of the group, and the cavern troll saw the wisdom in this, for it had been an hour since they began talking, and little headway had been made. Thus with the Cavern Troll (who had offered no name, and had even gone so far as to establish that names were not a custom the Cavern Trolls followed) leading, our party set out to meet the King Above.

The King Above was a hulking figure, with many metal plates seemingly bolted onto his armor. Arumi had realized, through her many studies, that this figure was some sort of Troll Warleader. The strongest and longest lived of the trolls in a commune.

Captain Stardust, well versed in dealing with all sorts of monarchs, stepped forward and bowed. “Hark! O’ King Above! We wish to treatise with you!” he declared, proudly.

The King Above looked at Uravus, then at the Troll that had led the Good Captain’s group and bellowed out, “What are you doing?! Why aren’t ye mining?!”

The Cavern Troll shifted in place nervously. “Ah, boss, they wanted to– “He stammered out meekly. “That is to say, they wish to talk to you and– I gotta go!” He spat out quickly, before running off back to his post to continue mining.

Peaches stepped forward to address the King Above. “So… You are the King Above?”

The Warleader sniffed. “That is me. I am… him.”

“We wish to solve all of your problems.” Uravus said, with a smile. “Peacefully, I might add.”

“ALL of my problems?” The King said, incredulously.

“It doesn’t have to be peaceful!” Calamity shouted, eagerly.

Peaches swatted Calamity with her tail, before quickly saying “Perhaps not something so sweeping, we’re here on behalf of the miners above.”

The King Above shook his head. “This is OUR mine, and we serve the King Below… for better or worse.”

“Yes, we’ve heard of your troubles with the King Below, wouldn’t you rather spend your time on something else besides mining? Perhaps Crafting?”

“We don’t have a choice. The King Below says we mine, so we mine.” The King Above said, somberly.

Arumi interjected, after giving some thought. “You could come to The Crossroads.”

The King Above frowned, with a fearful glint in his eye. “The King Below would hunt us down, make us pay for leaving…”

“We could protect you from the King Below were you to leave. My sister, you see, has slain a dragon.” Uravus said, gesturing to Arumi.

Arumi shook her head. “It was a drake.” She lied, again, quietly.

Uravus grinned at the King Above. “You see, then, the strongest warriors are the most humble, and who is more humble than my sister? She wields incredible magic.”

The King Above looked unimpressed, which offended Uravus on Arumi’s behalf but he thought better of striking the King down. The King then said, “I’ve seen the magic of the King Below. He’s wiped out entire armies!”

Calamity grinned. “I can do that too.”

“You… can?” The King Below said, looking down, literally, and perhaps metaphorically, at Calamity Button.

“Oh yes, I teleported inside a dragon and blew it up!”

The King Above looked at her discerningly. He could not find fault in her words, but he was incredibly close minded and searched for a reason to doubt that someone so small could be so powerful. This bit of intolerance frustrated Uravus, but again, this was a time for peace.

“Even if I believe you… I think the King Below could do such a thing.”

The party realizing they were spinning in circles, metaphorically, not literally, excused themselves to deliberate on this matter.

“I don’t think he knows anything,” Calamity began, frustratedly. “If he doesn’t believe that I can blow up wyrms.” “I am not sure if there’s much more we can do.” Arumi admitted.

“I agree, perhaps this job is not all it appears, so we should speak with the miners up top.” Peaches said.

Calamity nodded. “Yeah, we’ll ask the miners if they want us to come back and beat them up. That’s what we signed up for after all!”

“I signed up to help people.” Uravus said, with a frown.

“It sounds like someone might have to deal with the King Below.” Samara stated. “Someone stronger than us, that is.”

Calamity grinned mischievously. “Oh, what if we hide bombs in the cavern trolls tithes and BLOW UP the King Below?”

Before the party could object to this heinous suggestion, they collectively realized that there was a new noise in the cavern. It was the noise of machinery at work.

“Ah, perhaps we should leave if the King Below has sent people here.” Arumi said quickly.

“We can kill them then goad the King Above into leaving because then he’ll have no choice.” Calamity said.

“I don’t like it… but it might work…” Samara said, quietly.

Arumi sighed. “If Sabelle were here, he’d point them to desperate hope…”

Uravus held the broken mask of Sabelle up and surveyed it, with a tear in his eye. “He’s with us… in Spirit. Let’s be off then. I would have words with this King Below.”

“Uh… What are you going to say?” Calamity shouted after Uravus.

“Don’t know. We’ll figure it out when we get there.” Uravus stated, with a grin.

Samara shook her head. “He doesn’t have a plan, does he?”

“Since when have pirates ever needed a plan?” Uravus said proudly, as he stowed Sabelle’s mask, and drew his dueling sword.

“WHERE are the pirates?!” Calamity asked as the party followed behind The Good Captain.

—

The King Below had sent three emissaries. Their group was led by some sort of priest, and two crossbowmen, and in Uravus’s estimation, they were quite disturbed by the lit walls of the cavern. They made this clear by complaining, vocally about the lit walls of the cavern.

“AGH! Why is it so bright up here!?” Cried the leader.

“Sorry, boss, we need it to sees the rocks.” Said a Cavern Troll meekly. It was not the Cavern Troll Uravus befriended, though he wept for him all the same.

“You should know better.” Seethed the leader. “Hit the rocks, clear it out. The slaves below will sort through it all.” The leader spat out these final words then stopped, as he noticed the rest of the group. “Surface dwellers? HERE?”

“I think we can find a diplomatic resolution to all of this.” Uravus said, politely, though he feared his words fell on deaf ears.

“I take it you are emissaries for the King Below?” Peaches called out, in the language of the Deep Dwarves.

“I don’t answer to you. Leave your belongings or die.” The leader said plainly.

“Is that a threat?” Calamity asked, excitedly.

“It’s not a threat. It's a promise.” The leader said, with malice.

The Cavern Troll that had met the group peaked out from behind a corner and said quietly. “Oh, I knew this would happen…”

Uravus shook his head and stood in front of the Troll, and the rest of the group. “Stand behind me. I will protect you.” He said, with his sword held aloft.

The dwarf crossbowmen unleashed a flurry of crossbow bolts at the party. Uravus, illustrating his prowess as a protector, caught every single bolt with his body. It was incredibly painful, and he was, in fact, almost dying from the ordeal. Calamity channeled her magic, and threw a fireball down the cavern hallway, scorching the walls and the dwarves.

Captain Stardust channeled magic of his own, quickening his pace, and stepping backwards next to their troll friend. “I am not retreating.” He coughed out. “I am merely catching my breath.” He added, and gave the troll a shaky smile.

The Dwarf Leader called out “Any who does not help me… will die.” and thus, one of the cavern trolls stood up to betray his brothers, and joined with the King Below. Fortunately, in his fright, he was a poor aim, and the boulders he threw at the party missed their mark. The Leader said a swear, and bathed the cavern in darkness.

Fortunately, Peaches had prepared for this, and threw a ball of magic light into the cavern to dispel the vile darkness. The Dwarf Leader said another swear at this, and we assure you, it was quite vile, and also, we shan’t be repeating it here.

Samara handed an Elixir of Life to Uravus to heal some of his wounds and poison, for the nefarious crossbowmen of the King Below dealt in such underhanded means. Arumi followed this up with healing magic of her own, and thus, the Good Captain felt good as new. As Gold Ship retreated into the cavern with Arumi in tow, Uravus prepared to jump back into the fray.

Calamity realized it was time to show her enemies why they called her Calamity, and channeled a potent spell. Uravus wasn’t quite sure what the spell was, but it looked frightening. It was as if the halfling had brought the destruction of a terrible battle into the cavern itself. Seeing this as an opportunity, Uravus charged into battle.

The Turncoat Troll struck out at Uravus, who nimbly side stepped it. “You BIG DUMB OAF! You let him walk up to me!?” The Dwarf Leader cruelly shouted out as he ran from Uravus. The Good Captain struck out with his sword, catching the Dwarf in the back. The Dwarf responded in kind with a vile spell, but with his eyes dazzled by the light of the cavern, his spell went wide and availed not the Good Captain. With malice in his eyes, he channeled another evil spell, and Uravus could feel his stomach falling with induced nausea.

Peaches stepped forward, and disappeared. Only to reappear the instant after behind the Dwarf Leader. The leader sputtered in confusion, and was quickly cut off by a well armed strike from Peaches into his face.

Arumi emerged from the depths of the cavern to see the havoc ensuing. “Oh dear.” She said quietly, as she tossed a heal spell to Calamity. She thought for a moment, and locked eyes with Calamity. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Calamity asked excitedly. Arumi gave her a curt nod, and then threw lightning at the Halfling. Calamity channeled the lightning through her, and into the turncoat troll, singing his incredibly tough hide.

The Dwarf Leader, panicking, shouted out to his comrades. “You fools! Defend me!” The crossbowmen retreated from their positions to close in on Peaches. Each one casting aside his crossbow in favor of knives, which they then used to stab Peaches, many times.

Calamity, finally meeting an equal to her in magic power, wanted to match spell for spell. She flung lightning of her own into the cavern troll, singing in the exact same spot Arumi had hit a moment ago.

Uravus, realizing the troll was well and truly handled, stepped through reality to appear alongside the Dwarf Leader. He struck at him with his blade, before taking a defensive stance to catch any incoming attacks.

Unfortunately, the troll was not well and truly handled, and after lumbering down the hallway after Uravus, hit him squarely in the head with a powerful fist. Uravus, in distress, did what he always did in such situations, and shouted out “ARUMI! HELP!”

Normally, when one was surrounded by enemies they would panic, but this was in fact the exact scenario Peaches had ordained. And with magic channeled into her staff, she swept out, striking each of the enemies assailing her. She followed with a strike on the leader, felling him. Samara followed this maneuver up with a vial of acid, splashing out onto the group of enemies, after taking a strike from the deceptively swift troll for it.

Arumi surveyed the battlefield, as she considered what spells to use. “Remember! They’re weak to mental magic!” Calamity shouted out to Arumi. Arumi nodded, and gave her a small smile. “Catch!” She said to the halfling, as she channeled an incredibly potent spell. Calamity caught the spell, and threw it at the Troll, who sputtered in fear and roared out in anguish from the pain assailing his mind. Calamity, eager to cast alongside someone as wise as Arumi, mirrored the spell, casting her own version of the same spell at the troll, hobbling him in place.

The battlefield started to thin out, and Uravus considered his options. One of the dwarf crossbowmen was weak, barely hanging on. The troll was threatening to close in on his sister. What could he do? He remembered the guidance of Pomba, and wreathed his flame in blades before bringing it down on the staggering crossbowman, who fell under the weight of his blade.

“What! You’re magic!?” Calamity cried out. “I thought you were a sword guy!”

“Oh, I dabble.” Uravus said, with a grin.

Arumi sighed. “Unfortunately, he is a natural.”

With the slaying of the leader, it did not take long for the group to dispatch the rest of their foes. The dwarf crossbowmen refused to surrender, even spitting on Uravus when he suggested it. Peaches and Samara made quick work of them, while Arumi and Calamity assailed the troll with their magic. Uravus got the final blow on the turncoat troll, and though the troll had turned against them, he still lamented the events that led to his demise.

–

After the battle, the King Above approached them cautiously. Uravus looked at him somberly. “I have good news, and bad news.” The King nodded at this, for it was plain to see which was which.

“Unfortunately,” Arumi began, “We’ll have to assist you in relocating.”

“They attacked us.” Calamity said, sagely.

The King Above wearily said “It was easy being a slave, but I suppose now we’ll have to fight.”

“Come with us, we’ll get you into Cross Roads.” Arumi said, with an understanding nod.

“We have many allies that will help you.” Peaches added in.

“Yeah! Like Drake! He has a big spiky club!” Calamity said with a cheer.

The King Above widened his eyes with amazement. “Well now, why didn’t you start with that?! Where is this city?”

Arumi thought for a moment on directional relativity, and pointed the King Above to the Cross Roads. The King Above surveyed the dwarves the group had fought. Though the leader was a spellcaster, he was not a high ranking one… There would be more returning, but, fortunately, with a cutting of elevator rope from the King Above, and walls of stone conjured by Calamity, the King Below’s forces would be delayed in the future.

The King Above shed no tears for the turn coat troll, as he looked at his fallen former comrade. “I didn’t like him that much. He was a bit of a snitch.”

Uravus shook his head. “My friend, one thing I’ve learned as a pirate is tat the connections we make are what matters, and any loss is still tragic.”

The King Above blinked at him, then asked. “What’s a pirate?”

“Oh! They sail on the seas! I was a pirate once!” Calamity excitedly chimed in.

With eyes widened in surprise, Uravus asked “Oh! You were?”

“Didn’t you sail off the edge of the world once?” Samara asked.

“I did. I did!” Calamity said, and then retold the tale, which, unfortunately, we shall not be retelling here today, for this story has already gone far too long, and this is, in fact, the recounting of Captain Stardust and the Jongleur Three’s lives, not Calamity Button’s, however interesting her life might be.

“Oh. By the way… If you want to continue dealing with the King Below, he has all sorts of strange metal, like this one here.” The King Above said, before ripping the metal armor off of his body and presenting it to the party.

Samara analyzed the metal, then nodded. “It’s oh… a special metal. This is incredibly rare metal, incredibly powerful.”

The King Above nodded. “Yeah, and this is just the junk left overs. They got a ton more down below.”

“You know, we’ll have to send people down there.” Samara said, with a glint in her eyes.

“I can think of powerful people that would appreciate knowing about this.” Arumi said with a nod.

“Wait, we’re sending people to deal with them to help… not for this stuff right?” Calamity asked.

“Well… we were going to ask for help regardless, but now there will be more interest and a veritable special metal rush!” Samara said.

Uravus shook his head. “If this is to cause undue strife… perhaps we shouldn’t divulge that it’s here.”

We do not know for sure the nature of the metal found in the mines. We have asked our source on the matter of what had happened in the mine, and alas, our source will not divulge even the name of the metal. When asked, our confidant would only say “Some things are perhaps best left a mystery.” with a knowing smile that only a pirate could fashion.

The trolls had ultimately left the mine, and thus, the miners happily paid our friends for a job well done. Uravus could not help shake the feeling, however, that this would not be last any of them would be hearing of… the King Below.