Rock on, Owlbears
| Rock On, Owlbears | |
|---|---|
| Date | 2/18/2025 |
| Storyteller | Foster |
| Tier | Trainee |
| Player Characters | Swaying Petals, Clementine, Rowanne, Radari, Quill |
| Rewards | 30gp each |
| Result | Success |
| Author | Rowanne |
| Downtime | 1 |
The Markmuse Theater will be hosting the bardic metal group Owlbear Pandemic for a show this week. Unfortunately, the group has experienced some difficulties during their last few shows, so I'm hiring a group of Associates to help make sure that the performance goes smoothly. You'll be on duty from the band's arrival until after the post-show.
Log
A concert security log penned by Rowanne (with marginally improved coordination!)
At the request of theater manager Ms. Milly, our team provided security services for the band Rock On, Owlbears during their performance Theater. The assignment involved mitigating disruptions, addressing technical sabotage, and managing crowd control. Below is a detailed account of events and actions taken (Milly assured us no owlbears would crash the show—but between gremlins, lice, and overzealous halflings, I’m starting to think owlbears might’ve been simpler).
Pre-Show Jitters The venue was a rickety theater with suspiciously creaky catwalks. Our ragtag crew—Clementine (serpentine serenity), Quill (judgmental cat glare™), Petals (a citrus-scented bundle of joy), Radari (tentacle high-fives included), and me (still learning where my hooves end)—split to scout. Petals vibrating like a shaken cider bottle, demanding autographs from the band the moment they arrived. The trio—Fuku, Matsu, and Kito—seemed harmless enough, though Kito’s voice sounded like a rusted hinge. Clementine diagnosed him with a mild cold, while Quill lurked in the shadows. As Clementine and Quill spoke with the band, Radari, Petals, and I… uh… bonded. Petals demonstrated their “war shove,” which resembled a lemon aggressively hugging a squid, and I proceeded to eat dirt when trying to show how strong centaurs are.
Then a light fell with a crash onto the stage.
Gremlin Wrestling League A giggle echoed from the rafters. Radari, ever the diplomat, went up and asked the tiny possum-like saboteurs if they were crew. They responded by hurling rocks and lice. Yes, lice. Clementine identified them as “fae gremlins,” which I’m pretty sure translates to “walking glitter bombs of spite.” Chaos ensued: Radari proceeded to hurl a gremlin off the catwalk, but the little menace clung to the edge. Radari, grinning like a lunatic, leapt after it, snagging the gremlin mid-air. They plummeted 60 feet. The gremlin cratered into the stage floor with a wet splat; Radari landed on top of it, tentacles splayed. The gremlin dissolved into glittery goo. Radari staggered up, cracked his back, and yelled, “WORTH IT!”. Not to be outdone, Quill shoved a gremlin into the void, and—with catfolk grace—leaped down, landing silently beside the crumpled gremlin-pancake. He flicked a claw at Radari. “Amateur.”
Post-battle, the stage looked like a troll’s laundry pile. Clementine conjured a snowstorm to de-lice me (glacial spa treatment, anyone?), while the rest bagged gremlin corpses and mopped up the splattered mess.
Concert Crashers The concert itself went surprisingly smoothly. Radari transformed into a hype-beast, rallying the crowd into a clapping frenzy, while Quill scanned the audience with the intensity of a hawk eyeing a mouse. My big moment came when I spotted a halfling filching purses in the back. I corralled her with what I’d call “assertive dance diplomacy”—a waltz so off-beat, she surrendered the loot just to escape my hooves.
Clementine saved the day again when Kito’s pyrotechnics set a curtain ablaze. She smothered the flames expertly and quickly. She got a thumbs up from Kito, and the went on.
Encore: Sob Stories Post-show, three “superfans” (an elf and two halflings) tried their annual “dying cousin” routine to sneak backstage. Petals, bless their little heart, nearly cried before Radari shut them down. Clementine enlarged Petals to tree-size, giving her the courage to shoo them away. Eventually all the fans had left. We said out goodbyes to the band and Milly gave us our reward money.